Monday, November 28, 2011

Windstorms, Kabuki Brush Sets, and a French Bulldog.

Whew,  So its been a while, but do I have some good stories..err, rambilings rather, for you...

Yesterday there was 149 km/hr windstorm in Calgary and pure pademonium broke out! you would have thought that the zombie apocalypse hit or something!  people were running and screaming, cops were blaring their sirens down the street, buses were crashing..and they shut down the ENTIRE downtown core. Sure, okay I get it.. a few wiundows fell out of buildings so you do need to  insure the general safety of the public..but Jeeeeeeessus people. This was definitley one of those days I should have called in sick... this story is petty cool though .

I love mashed potatoes!

 I thought July flew by fast... What happening to August, Septermber, October and November?!!! I'll tell you what happened..they hitched up their girly little skirts and ran by me screaming

I can't really even tell you what happened during those months.. except I remeber spending halloween all too quietly  laying at home in bed sleeping rather than being out wreaking havoc on a drunken sugar high  as has been my tradition most years. As the old folks say... "It's all too much  of a hazy blur for my decrepit mind to recall."

you're welcome!
I also went to the Volbeat concert here in town.. Old news I know but they were FUCKING PHENOMENAL LIVE!  except when Michael, the lead singer asked for all the hot girls in calgary to come up on stage, and  it seemed all the dragons,cows and bottom feeders managed to scramble onto the stage, meanwhile myself and the other two deecent looking chics got denied by security. *sigh*

What else has happened? oh yes I got a kick ass gig as  the makeup artists for NARS. I love this line, Francios Nars is freaking amazing, and his little side kick Marcel is adorable.  have a little look-see and comment below if anything catches your fancy. I love it all. From the magical brightening serum, to the famous multiple orgasm, I want it all over my boddyyyy. I am so pro-prime Nars. Its not even funny(face) anymore. I swear they put something in their makeup that soaks into your skin and comsumes your brain so that you are reprogrammed to want only NARS. Or, it could simply be the fact that their products are really, really really really good.

"I freakin rule"
I grabbed the kabuki brush set as soon as it came out!  Such a good buy. Many women adore it, and even more are confused as to its practical application. I, in my all knowing way, have forseen this, and done something about it. Come see me a Holt Renfrew Calgary, this Wednesday Nov 30th, and when you purchase this theatre inspired set, I will teach you it mysterious ways and give you gifts!

In other News, I'm having a pajama day and drikning some delicious hazelnut coffee. Mercury is in retrograde again, and I am feeling the effects even now as I write this blogs and bang my head in frustration on the keyboard. Also, Calgary Transit should get it's poop together and make sure there is service downtown during the week. Seriosuly this city is well over a million people now and just shutting down the main line into the downtown core is really not cool.

Marcel Says, Relax!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Where did July go?

Julyyyy come backkk..I didnt get to spend any quality time with you, I'm sorry.... please dont leave me like that again. I promise I wont spend all my time working in a place i dont feel good about and lazing in bed  when we could be outside sharing storeis and i could baskin your beautiful presence.

Needless to say I got caught up with silly things in July. I was working at a shoe store, which wasnt by any means a bad was just boring, devestatingly monotonous and didn't pay was also so heavily focused on sales.. all i was was some little minion who had to run to the back grab some shoes and shove it on some rich ladies foot, tell her it looked nice so she would buy the product and  i could boost my sales so the president of the company could get richer and fatter and world could be come more depleted, and the rich ladies jealous friends would coo over her beautiful new shoes and come to buy the exact ame pair..and I would get 3 Fucking % of the  sale...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!!!!.....I also spent too much of what little money I had on shoes rather than..oh I dont know...Getting my healthcare and drivers liscence sorted out. oh well, lesson learned. I got a job offer from a well known cosmetics company and jumped on that shit litle a kitten on a loose sweater string. Im getting to be much happier now. this company actually has INTEGRITY, and gives me tons of training and I  get to actally help people out with our skin care items and make women feel beautiful with our make-up consultation. it is good.

July also came with a big set of challenges for me...mainly, adjusting to life in Canada again, being in my childhood house with all of its bittersweet memories,seeing how my mom has surrounded herself with more things than any person ever should to keep her emotion packed away, working a job i didnt care about, switching jobs, trying to network myself in the local film industry here, Missing Europe,realizing old friendships have been outgrown, and living with my significant other for the first time in my life. (which is wonderful don't get me wrong, but everyone knows it is a challenge especially the first time you do it).

Slowly, i found i was just switching myself onto autopilot and not really taking a look at any of my emotions or what i needed to do to keep myself satisfied...bad move miss pisces. I wound up in a serious funk and couldnt seem to pull myslef out of it.,I had no space to myself to go and decompress .. What ened up happening was me breaking down in front of my very supportive boyfriend, who, being the gemini that he is, had a little trouble grasping the fact that I didnt really have any logical answers for my feelings.  in the end he just accepted and I feel much better today.

hey baby. lets have kinky nerd sex.
In other news, ive been going to some auditions for films here, theres not too much happening but Im lucky that i know about most of it. MERCURYYYYY IS IN ANOTHER CRAZY RETROGRADE so have fun with that everybody..refer to my  earlier blog post for advide about how to deal with that one... and this city, like most... is full of creepy men..i had some guy on the c-train dressed in a spider man shirt and socks with sandals moaning at me during rush hour..thats right no perosnal space and mr. nerd with a libido  decides to express his sexual feelings to strange women on the train.. i was unfortunate enough to be caught in his line of vision.
yay. me.

Also, malls are full of emotional vampires and its diffiicult to work in one. im finding im getting depeleted of energy quite rapidly during shifts if I dont watch myself.HOWEVER it is teaching me a lot and I am getting my life sorted slowly but surely.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

There's No Place Like Home, Theres No Place Like Home, There's No Pleace Like Home...

There's no Place like Home!
So, after a few months abroad again, I find myself sitting cozily nestled in my own familiar bed, Sipping a bee-pollen and berry smoothie and writing in my blog :)...Ahhhhhh Such a nice feeling.
I haven't really spent any quality time At home Since I was 17, when I flew the coop to go to Holland. From that time forward I've been known in my circles as a flighty Globe trotter, taking off to the next place at any available opportunity. True It was only around Europe and  Canada, However those years have been full of life experience and growth... (and not of Weed those of you thinking  Amsterdam).

I'm pretty happy t back back, Familiarity  is nice! (Never thought id say that) and I love being able to go shopping for (cute!) shoes, dresses etc under 10$ and  buy veggie items without having to pull my hair out looking for them...

Angelina Wrona,
an amazing Canaidna artist!
Check her out!
I've learned a lot, yet so Little in the time away. I'm so grateful for my epxeriences so far, and all of the people I've met, interacted with and the few I've been lucky enough to keep as friends. I would like to extend a heartfelt Thank you to everyone I've come across for being my teachers.  Some lessons have been deep and brought me clairty, and other have been as simple as teaching me how to chug a litre of beer in under 10 seconds (thanks Prague), but all of them have enriched my life just by being part of it.

SO Cheers! Love to you all and until the next blog....Dont be silly, wrap your willy (thanks to Rose for that nugget of wisdom)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


Yes! It is a very special day for a a few reasons, they are including, but not limited to:
A.) there is a Partial Solar Eclipse
B.) I am moving out of my apartment
C.) This is the day the love of my life pushed his way naked, cold and screaming into this world :)

Happpyyyyy Birthday Aaron. I hope this year brings you all the opportunity you have been craving to manifest your desires :) I love you !

YES IT ISS YOUR BIRTHDAY BUCKIE BOOS! and its okay to be excited! yes it is. Oh shnookie bums!  is you gonna have cake? A shit load of chocolate cheesecake? with beer? Some hoegaarden and organgejuice? my wittle bugsyboo! What's that? nooo it's not a bad picture of you I think its marvellous and cute-sy  and it shows enthusiasm :) awwwww bookiessssssssss yooze is sooo specialllllll. 8D...please don't kill me for this ;)

Every Birthday boy should have his own happy birthday song, So here is yours Boo Boo.
Hey birthday Boy, tell me what you want.

 I'm sorry im not there to have hours and hours of  Birthday Sex with you like a good girflfriend should. However, I did hire a tasty little number to come over and fulfill all of your deepest, darkest desires...I think shes perfect for you in my absence ------------------>

If, for some reason you find that Tracey-May just doesn't do it for you ( She's a sexy girl, but I also realize how true and dedicated you are to me). Its okay I'll be there in a few days :)..Good things come to those who wait!!
Eat your hearts out ladies, this one is mine :)
Aaron, I love you for so many reasons.  you are so kind, loving, thoughtful, logical, open, giving, hardworking, determined, steadfast, patient, creative, wise, adaptable, understanding, sexy, handsome, gorgeous (inside and out),funny, personable, helpful and knowing, (see the rest  HERE) I could go on and on for ages... You have worked so hard in this life, and I've been prviledged enough to witness a transformation taking place inside of you ever since we began our journey. Just keep going babys, let your creativity loose and allow it to flow freely from you :) Have a greatttttttt Birthday and I will see you ina few days!
Love you xoxoxox,
Your Woooooman!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I am a sexy minion of Darkness.

Kay, So I just finished yet another afternoon of frolicking through the sunny park, devouring souls and turning peaceful alchemists into evil blood sucking minions of darkness. Then I went for pizza. After that, I came home and passed out. After my Villian-nap, I watched an episode of "It's always Sunny in Philadelphia", thought about how bloated the pizza made me, then decided to write in my blog. That pretty much brings us up to speed.

I am a sexy evil minion

Corrupting unsuspecting members of society isn't simply a hobby, its my career. You see, I am an actor, and I have been cast to play a part ( Woo hoo, success!) This part is called "Darkness" and you can see me  performing in The Prague Fringe Festival. I play alongside Kendrick ong, Mel Rada, Jeff Fritz, Chris Tucker, Bethany Adams, Kyle and Paulina in Akanda production of "Alchemysta" From Friday may 27th-June 3 at Divadlo Kampa 22:00-23:00 more info Here Everyone gives a great performance and Kendrick and I  make a  Sexy-bad-ass evil minion-duo if I do say so myself.

Wasn't there supposed to be a rapture yesteterday?  I wish it would have come and taken all the Jesus Camp frea..errr I mean enthusiasts away.

Rose's Gigolo inaccuratley portrayed.
 Hers was Mocha
In other news,The sun is now in Gemini, My good friend Rose accidentally slept with a gigolo (awkward and true), Fred is no where to be found (I think he ran away to the canary islands), there are 13 agonizingly longg days until I land in Toronto and see my Wonderful boyfriend ( let the sex-capades being!), thena  week after I go see my mumsy (yayyy awesome food and comfort talks!!) anddddddddd My muscles are sore from repeatedly dive-rolling over an Ottoman in Kampa park yesterday. OH AND IT JUST BEGAN STORMING OUTSIDE...SCORE!!! Did I  mention that I was an actor and Im in a show next week?  you should come see me,  HERES THE INFO ON SHOW TIMES AND TICKETS

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Film's, Food Festivals & Ferral Ferrets. In that order.

Heyyy Alll!

Wow what a crazy  month I've had. Im currently experiencing a strange trend..I am working more as an artist then I have ever before in my life andddd even though the money isn't exactly pouring in..i've never been happier with the way my career is going. Weird huh, how you can be happy when you're doing what you love.

Lea, Dir. by JC Cader will be Screened  at Cannes this year
 So far 2011 has been a busy year for me. Since February, I have worked as an actress on six short films, and as a casting assistant on the ABC T.V series Missing, starring Ashley Judd and directed by Steve Shill (Dexter, Rome). I am performing in the Prague Fringe Festival this month, and playing in another short film directed by David West, this week. A filmed I co-starred in, (Lea, Directed by JC Cader) is being screened at the Cannes Film Festival in June. I am currently starring in a project entitled “Drammatical”, Directed by Michael Gimenz. This is a Portrait Documentary that will be screened at festivals across Europe this summer.

Pretty Sweet.
On another very important note (FOOD) I visited the Prague International Food Festival at ISP (international School of Prague) with my good friend Rose, and we had an absolute BLAST! we were both feeling a little err Rough from the night before and we toddled our way across prauge for the ultimate hang over cure...all you can eat genuine home cooked meals from all over the world.
Home Cooked Mealz is dericious
Basically, A bunch of families that had gotten together as a fundraising event for the school. All the moms (and dads) had slaved away cooking the typical cuisine from each of their countires, and They put on a HUGE event on the most beautiful day we have seen in Prague so far this year. The families got dressed up in their cultural clothing as well (the kids were sooo cute in their kimonos, Klompen and Dirdels!), and each country had their flag and a some info about the country. Here our our stops in order (we only got through about 1/3 of the tables)

1.) Japan- Roses students  had prepared some awesome Sushi for us and it was so freaking delicious
2.) Coffee Stand. Thank you Nescafe ;)
3.) India- Delicious Samosa's, Dahl, Butter Chicken and Pakoras mmmmm.
4.) Slovenia- Beautiful people, Beautiful food, Beautiful Country. Asparagus and Polenta with A buckwheat mushroom Salad and some deliiiccciouuus glazed ham. TO DIE FOR!
4.) Poland- Various Cakes, bigos, Cabbage rolls. Yummy yummy.
---By this time we were getting full, but there was still SO MUCH MORE. so we went on!---
5.) England (they had a flag with Kate and wills wedding picture in the middle CUTE)- Tea, Coffee and cakes :) perfect
6.) America- Chili Con Carne (vegetarian and beef!) Corn Bread, cookies, Sweet Tea,  and brownies :)
7.) Canada- Pancake breafkast :) Maple syrup included of course :)
8.)France- All sorts of Delicious ornate desserts :) I went for Isabellas Pear and Chocolate cake!! mmm.

those were the ones we got to, and there were so many more. But by that time, Rose and I were about to instead of toddling..we waddled out of the school and over to hradcanska To get some herbal Soaps...

On the way there we came across an abandonded ferret we named Fred. Poor Fred had clearly seen better days...The poor thing was shaking and crawling under cars, He had spots of fur missing and his tail was all matted. We tried to coax him out from under on of the cars. Eventually he came out but only to bolt across the parking lot with amazing speed and crash land in the bushes behind a chicken wire fence. Smart Fred.

Fred is a Beacon of Light for us all.

Rose and I decided it was our duty to go get a box and some food/water for him...and try to get him to a vet. when we came back though we couldn't find Fred. Rose made a valid point how she runs away too when people threaten to take her to the doctor.  However, we did see a spot where people had been leaving cat food and little dishes of water out for him. So we opened the Tuna, (we got it incase his mangy little butt couldn't chew anything), left the water and Rose will go to check up on him when shes there to teach English every week. That;s Very kind of you Rose. I'm sure our furry ferret friend thanks you for your effort and foodz. 

I am officially decicating this blog post to Fred and his Ferret Happiness. May you Be a beacon of light to all of us in these dark times Fred.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dead Fish, Free wine, and Junot Diaz.

I am currently recovering from a combo hangover/food poisioning  from my night out at the Prague writers festival in Nova Scena. I think it was the awful (but free) Czech wine, and the salty swedish meatballs from the buffet that that did me in. Never trust buffet balls.
My lovely  full-of-energy Cancerian friend James, who was sponsoring the event had some invites and decided to take me along. It was awesome.

We showed up half an hour late (we can blame Mercury for that miscommunication) , which was just in time to Catch Petr, a flustered giant Czech man building a pyramid out of Turkish airline gift bags. We gave him some tips, from an art attack episode then were ushered in to the event in time to  catch the tail end of a Turkish guy singing in Greek, backed by a paino, cello and some awesome mediterranian man playing the Kajoun. ( James identified him as medditerraniean due to his BBS outfit (Black suit Black shirt Silver tie) well done James, Well done.
we were then priviledged to watch a scintillating discussion over "How Hot was the Cold War"...HOLD ON TO YOUR PANTIES GIRLS, THIS IS GONNA GET STEAMY!
The introduction of the  participantts was made even more awe- inspiring by the 2 rows of giant paper mache "bombs" that were being flailed around the stage like worms on a hook. One by one each of the participants (who were  most likely born in the mid-Jurassic period) shuffled on, and carefully sat their depends clad bums down on the couch set  centre stage. just as I was settling for a nice long nap in the dark...Junot Diaz was introduced. This man was a total pimp-in-geeks-clothing.
While the confused Iraqi man was rambling about being held hostage, and the sweaty Czech guy  told us the cold war had an "unexpected happy ending of 21 years" (do we have to pay for that?) ...Juno said Fuck (twice!) and successfully compared to cold war to a giant Dragon (I decided he was covered from the neck down in tattoos, and wearing a 6 sided dice as a pendant underneath his suit). He also made a very valid point about how the world in caught in the  "constant hysterical present" ( I am probably quoting him wrong, cause I couldn't see well in the dark to write properly). he says it best.. Google him and his Awesomeness.

I notcied that a number of people were leaving the discussiona  few minutes early..I then found out what the cold war actually taught people here in the good old CZ...."If you leave early you can get to the buffet before everyone else"...These people were like hyenas attacking a dead corpse...Absolutle madness..At the beggining of each buffet line was a giant dead fish...complete with decapitated head, with black olives stuffe dinto the eye sockets...a bulky white haired man actually PUSHED past me in line to get to the head..wich he furiously attacked with a knife and fork (at least it wasn't his bare hands)... after the massacre the fishes dead dislocated jaw was smiling its macabre dead fishy smile, and staring at me with one black olive eye (the man had eaten the other olive....

At the end of the night after the crazy madness had lessened..James and I were having a last sophisitaced glass of free battery acid ( err, Wine) when we spotted a couple getting steamy in the corner..right by the nearly empty fish tray...Classy...getting  groovy at the writers festivalllllll. Im pretty sure the mousey woman was fantasizing about Junot and his giant....glasses, while she was snogging her hunchy pudgy man.

To finish off the night James and I split a rainbow smartie subway cookie (well, he had a small piece and I devoured the rest)...Nothing touches Subway cookies, they are the shit and linked closely to my childhood.

All in all a successful night.