Monday, April 18, 2011

Dead Fish, Free wine, and Junot Diaz.

I am currently recovering from a combo hangover/food poisioning  from my night out at the Prague writers festival in Nova Scena. I think it was the awful (but free) Czech wine, and the salty swedish meatballs from the buffet that that did me in. Never trust buffet balls.
My lovely  full-of-energy Cancerian friend James, who was sponsoring the event had some invites and decided to take me along. It was awesome.

We showed up half an hour late (we can blame Mercury for that miscommunication) , which was just in time to Catch Petr, a flustered giant Czech man building a pyramid out of Turkish airline gift bags. We gave him some tips, from an art attack episode then were ushered in to the event in time to  catch the tail end of a Turkish guy singing in Greek, backed by a paino, cello and some awesome mediterranian man playing the Kajoun. ( James identified him as medditerraniean due to his BBS outfit (Black suit Black shirt Silver tie) well done James, Well done.
we were then priviledged to watch a scintillating discussion over "How Hot was the Cold War"...HOLD ON TO YOUR PANTIES GIRLS, THIS IS GONNA GET STEAMY!
The introduction of the  participantts was made even more awe- inspiring by the 2 rows of giant paper mache "bombs" that were being flailed around the stage like worms on a hook. One by one each of the participants (who were  most likely born in the mid-Jurassic period) shuffled on, and carefully sat their depends clad bums down on the couch set  centre stage. just as I was settling for a nice long nap in the dark...Junot Diaz was introduced. This man was a total pimp-in-geeks-clothing.
While the confused Iraqi man was rambling about being held hostage, and the sweaty Czech guy  told us the cold war had an "unexpected happy ending of 21 years" (do we have to pay for that?) ...Juno said Fuck (twice!) and successfully compared to cold war to a giant Dragon (I decided he was covered from the neck down in tattoos, and wearing a 6 sided dice as a pendant underneath his suit). He also made a very valid point about how the world in caught in the  "constant hysterical present" ( I am probably quoting him wrong, cause I couldn't see well in the dark to write properly). he says it best.. Google him and his Awesomeness.

I notcied that a number of people were leaving the discussiona  few minutes early..I then found out what the cold war actually taught people here in the good old CZ...."If you leave early you can get to the buffet before everyone else"...These people were like hyenas attacking a dead corpse...Absolutle madness..At the beggining of each buffet line was a giant dead fish...complete with decapitated head, with black olives stuffe dinto the eye sockets...a bulky white haired man actually PUSHED past me in line to get to the head..wich he furiously attacked with a knife and fork (at least it wasn't his bare hands)... after the massacre the fishes dead dislocated jaw was smiling its macabre dead fishy smile, and staring at me with one black olive eye (the man had eaten the other olive....

At the end of the night after the crazy madness had lessened..James and I were having a last sophisitaced glass of free battery acid ( err, Wine) when we spotted a couple getting steamy in the corner..right by the nearly empty fish tray...Classy...getting  groovy at the writers festivalllllll. Im pretty sure the mousey woman was fantasizing about Junot and his giant....glasses, while she was snogging her hunchy pudgy man.

To finish off the night James and I split a rainbow smartie subway cookie (well, he had a small piece and I devoured the rest)...Nothing touches Subway cookies, they are the shit and linked closely to my childhood.

All in all a successful night.

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