Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Where did July go?

OH MY F*CKING GAWD SHOES!
Julyyyy come backkk..I didnt get to spend any quality time with you, I'm sorry.... please dont leave me like that again. I promise I wont spend all my time working in a place i dont feel good about and lazing in bed  when we could be outside sharing storeis and i could baskin your beautiful presence.


Needless to say I got caught up with silly things in July. I was working at a shoe store, which wasnt by any means a bad job..it was just boring, devestatingly monotonous and didn't pay enough.it was also so heavily focused on sales.. all i was was some little minion who had to run to the back grab some shoes and shove it on some rich ladies foot, tell her it looked nice so she would buy the product and  i could boost my sales so the president of the company could get richer and fatter and world could be come more depleted, and the rich ladies jealous friends would coo over her beautiful new shoes and come to buy the exact ame pair..and I would get 3 Fucking % of the  sale...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!!!!.....I also spent too much of what little money I had on shoes rather than..oh I dont know...Getting my healthcare and drivers liscence sorted out. oh well, lesson learned. I got a job offer from a well known cosmetics company and jumped on that shit litle a kitten on a loose sweater string. Im getting to be much happier now. this company actually has INTEGRITY, and gives me tons of training and I  get to actally help people out with our skin care items and make women feel beautiful with our make-up consultation. it is good.

July also came with a big set of challenges for me...mainly, adjusting to life in Canada again, being in my childhood house with all of its bittersweet memories,seeing how my mom has surrounded herself with more things than any person ever should to keep her emotion packed away, working a job i didnt care about, switching jobs, trying to network myself in the local film industry here, Missing Europe,realizing old friendships have been outgrown, and living with my significant other for the first time in my life. (which is wonderful don't get me wrong, but everyone knows it is a challenge especially the first time you do it).

Slowly, i found i was just switching myself onto autopilot and not really taking a look at any of my emotions or what i needed to do to keep myself satisfied...bad move miss pisces. I wound up in a serious funk and couldnt seem to pull myslef out of it.,I had no space to myself to go and decompress .. What ened up happening was me breaking down in front of my very supportive boyfriend, who, being the gemini that he is, had a little trouble grasping the fact that I didnt really have any logical answers for my feelings.  in the end he just accepted and I feel much better today.

hey baby. lets have kinky nerd sex.
In other news, ive been going to some auditions for films here, theres not too much happening but Im lucky that i know about most of it. MERCURYYYYY IS IN ANOTHER CRAZY RETROGRADE so have fun with that everybody..refer to my  earlier blog post for advide about how to deal with that one... and this city, like most... is full of creepy men..i had some guy on the c-train dressed in a spider man shirt and socks with sandals moaning at me during rush hour..thats right no perosnal space and mr. nerd with a libido  decides to express his sexual feelings to strange women on the train.. i was unfortunate enough to be caught in his line of vision.
yay. me.




Also, malls are full of emotional vampires and its diffiicult to work in one. im finding im getting depeleted of energy quite rapidly during shifts if I dont watch myself.HOWEVER it is teaching me a lot and I am getting my life sorted slowly but surely.